“No” Is Just A Word
A THOT For Monday
“No” is just a word!
I was recently speaking at a program and I asked, “what is the largest fear a chiropractor has”? After staring in the eyes of a heard of deer, in a room where you could cut the energy with a knife… In an environment that no one was about to offer an idea, some bold soul quietly murmured “rejection”.
I think they nailed it! I had other adjectives in mind but that was in my mind the “it” answer. Everything else that seems to come up as a challenge seems to get back to fear of rejection!
We want more positive recognition for what we do, as well as more acceptance of what we recommend for care. But the simple truth is we are still “selling ice to Eskimos”. Meaning the real challenge is… The public is still clueless as to what our product is and how to utilize it past pain relief.
Socially though, rejection caused by misunderstanding in chiropractic is still the rule! You can’t avoid it, whether you’re a high energy on purpose Chiropractic warrior building a practice, or a shy guy, hoping for a date with a supermodel. Rejection is a fact of life.
I have found the only real separation from those that have larger practices from those that may struggle more is… They don’t see rejection as an objection! They don’t let the fear of rejection paralyze them. If you do, you’ll never get new patients or any dates if that is what you are looking for as well!
I heard of a gr8 story about a guy named Jonathan Robinson (now a professional speaker and author). He was shy as a young man–painfully so, especially when it came to women. One day in college he decided to do something drastic about it. He handed a friend $50 and told him, “Don’t give this back to me unless I get rejected by 10 different women by the end of today.”
The idea was to push through his fear of rejection, with money as a motivator. Robinson headed through the campus, looking for women to ask out. The first time, he was barely able to stammer his question, and the woman involved thought he was experiencing a seizure. She turned him down. After a while he grew calmer, and began to not expect to be rejected, he witnessed the impossible… women became less dismissive of him.
Then something unexpected happened: His seventh target agreed to go out with him. Robinson was so surprised he almost didn’t have a response, but he managed to get her phone number. Then the next woman also said yes to him.
In all, he collected eight phone numbers, and had to resort to some mildly annoying behavior to reach his quota of 10 rejections in order to get his $50 back. Not only did he get his money, and plenty of dates, he vanquished his fear of rejection.
Would I recommend this exercise for overcoming your fear of rejection? Of course not, or why not if appropriate! You could do a spinal screening or a dinner talk, or a new patient orientation, and witness for yourself how not seeing rejection as the only outcome will actually eliminate (or drastically reduce) rejection!
I offer this lightheartedly to show that persistence in facing your worst fears can actually help you, even strengthen you to take on bigger challenges, knowing that success is also possible.
You can overcome your fear of rejection. It doesn’t have to be permanent. Instead look forward to facing challenges. It only requires reprogramming your mindset. You can’t escape rejection. But you can let it go. Practice these exercises:
• Analyze and evaluate your thoughts. When faced with a challenge, don’t let negative self-talk sabotage your chances. Take an objective look at the evidence. Chances are you’ll realize your worries are False Evidence Appearing Real. By confronting your irrational doubts, you remove their power.
• Identify Where The Fear Comes From. Who do you fear? What could go wrong? After all, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
• What is the Spiritual truth? Knowledge is power, so clarify the facts: Who has the power to reject you? Why would that person say no? The answers will help you prepare your best offer, and facing them will help you keep your composure. I will share an encounter I had with a client, that had so much fear they couldn’t see anything positive. They said in a consult… “No one has any money in my area”. I said no one? “No one” they said very congruently, it was their strong belief. I asked, “what is the spiritual truth”? Meaning… does anyone have money in the area, is it possible you have adopted a limiting belief?
Be clear of what beliefs you have, are they real or fueled by fear?
• Focus on the moment. Keep your perspective. Rejection lasts only a moment, and once it’s over, you’ll be able to move on to the next opportunity. Also, overcoming your fears can be an exhilarating experience. Anticipate the rush of tackling the challenge, and you’ll be more positive in the heat of the moment.
• Practice Rejection. One way to take the pressure off is to treat the situation as a practice session, regardless of the stakes. You still need to prepare and be at your best, but approaching the challenge as a learning experience will relax you. You’ll get a better sense of what works and what doesn’t, then use the knowledge you gain in the future.
• Be more assertive. Most fears of rejection rest on the desire for approval from other people. Don’t base your self-esteem on their opinions. Learn to express your own needs (appropriately), and say no to requests when you genuinely can’t help. People respect peers who stand up for themselves.
Don’t look at rejection as failure… When I have a challenge that seems really hard, I say to myself… “that’s why I make the big bucks”! If it was easy the rewards would not be as great. Take adversity as an opportunity to succeed. It is totally worth it!
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Tags: Chiropractic, Chiropractic Practice Development, Chiropractors
